Decide what to be and go be it

And thus begins the last week of change #2 in the mission. Sometimes life goes by so quickly and other times it drags on. I celebrated 3 months as a missionary this week by doing the same thing I do every day - talk to people about the one thing in this entire huge world that brings us legit hope and peace. There`s nothing else I would rather be doing right now. Even though it`s hard. 

This week we worked like crazy. We walked our feet off and contacted everyone in sight and searched for references and past contacts. Appointments fell through. People gave us faulty addresses. And they lied to us to avoid talking to us. And members didn`t show up to appointments when they committed to come. Awesome. 

But. Opposition in all things, right? I think the biggest thing I learned through all of it was that numbers don`t always reflect effort. Sometimes it is so easy to fall into the trap that a successful and hard-working missionary is the one who has 10 lessons with members present and 4 baptisms every week and 12 new investigators. But the truth - in my opinion at least - is that a successful missionary is someone who works even when it`s hard and maybe secretly has a desire to just go back to the apartment instead of wandering around in the rain. I`m not saying I am a stellar missionary by any means. I have a thousand billion million things I need to work on. But I am just tired of feeling like my worth is based on a number in a weekly report. So. Decision made. I won`t stress about it anymore. I will work hard because I love the gospel and I want people to find this ultimate source of happiness for themselves, not because I want to fill my agenda with numbers.

Also through all of this I learned (for the millionth time) that this is God`s work. I am just the messenger. He is directing His work on earth, and for some crazy reason He`s letting me help. It`s not easy, but He always will give us what we need to keep going even when it gets hard.

The other day we were working all day and no one wanted to talk to us. Literally. 7pm rolled around and we still hadn`t taught a single lesson. Appointments fell through and no one was home. Stellar. SO finally at the very end of the night we went to an appointment with a reference from some elders in Cuenca. I`ll be honest...I was halfway expecting to show up and be rejected again. But! Good news! We taught Fray and his entire family an awesome lesson and they aked great questiosn and were super receptive. We invited them to be baptized and Fray immediately said yes. 

Except then his wife jumped in and gave the typical ¨well we`ve already been baptized¨answer. I am still confused as to why being baptized as a baby with a little water sprinkled on your head by someone who doesn`t have the priesthood counts as a baptism. Pretty sure the scriptures are clear as to how Christ was baptized. And should we not follow his example in everything? Just sayin. Anyway...we will continue working with them. 

Also after the lesson they went and got us Chinese takeout. I even ate the shrimp. 

Finding such a great family made an entire day of let-downs not so crappy after all. Even in times of trial God gives us at least a little hope that helps us keep fighting.

And the big huge light at the end of the tunnel? A baptism! Evely was baptized on Saturday and confirmed Sunday in churhc. She and her older brother are the only members in their family, and her brother just moved to Peru. So it`s down to this 11 year old girl with a heck of a lot of faith. We`ve also started teaching her mom, so hopefully all goes well with that. 

Lots of awkward/delightful/hilarious things happened between today and last Monday. We helped two investigators overcome addictions, talked to lots of members about their amazing conversion stories, sang hymns for an old woman with alzheimers (she clapped after every single song and told us we were angels), was told I looked ugly in my glasses (ha. love latin bluntness), couldn{t flush the toilet at an investigator`s house, made peanut butter cups and pancakes, broke my bed when I sat on it (but the scale is told me I was losing weight...freak.), tried climbing through a tire while waiting for the bus, and saw a midget and an Ecuadorian captain hook. 

Okay, one last thing and then I promise I am done rambling. This week in District Meeting we talked about the importance of our own progress as missionaries because after 18 months or 2 years we will go home and continue our lives as regular people. If you don`t cease this time to develop yourself and build good habits, your time as a missionary is sort of spent in vain. 

Anyway I was thinking back on all the things I have learned in my short time here. I have learned that we can decide how react to situations and we choose whether or not to be happy. I`ve learned that an hour of personal study goes by as if it were 10 minutes. And that God is well aware of our weaknesses and gives us opportunities to overcome them. And that sardines are just as disgusting as everyone says they are. And that I am thrilled I get to choose who I will spend eternity with. And that the gospel makes sense. And that french braids are the best invention ever. 

But mostly I have learned that I have a ridiculous amount of stuff I still need to learn. I have to keep reminding myself that progression is a process and won`t be achieved all at once.

But I also decided that we can choose who we want to become. The only thing that holds us back is ourselves...pride, insecurities, laziness, whatever. The secret is we just have to decide what and who we want to be and go be it. Simple. So I`m deciding who I want to be by the end of this whole thing and I`m going to do it. Probably it will be hard and I will have to step way out of my comfort zone. But it will be worth it.

"There was a dream
One day I could see it
Like a bird in a cage I broke in and demanded that somebody free it."

Remember how I love the Avett Brothers? That is why.

Have a lovely week full of rock climbing, sledding, studying, working, playing,  reading the scriptures, and doing everything else you do. I love you all.

 Hermana Borja successfully completing the challenge of the day: climbing through this tire without touching any of the sides. In a skirt.

Cuenca zone bbq
zone activity we had today. a bbq. so freaking fun. we had it at a member´s house in our stake. they have a pool and volleyball/soccer court and a grill. A member from our ward donated TONS of sausage and hotdogs, so we had a feast. It was a blast. I love my zone here. They are all hilarious and we had such a good time.