there`s a darkness upon me that`s flooded in light

What? Another week has gone by? I sort of can`t believe it. As my companion would say...super ligero. Ha. Wait...that is only funny to me. Sometimes I feel awkward writing letters because I don`t know what will be funny to other people or interesting to read. And since no one ever responds except for my cute little family I think they are the only ones that ever read anything I send home. Which is fine because they`re most likely the coolest people I know. 

Anyway. This week was full of highs and lows, as always. Sometimes I feel like I am working against a really strong current and trying hopelessly to swim upstream. It doesn`t help when I start thinking about all my weaknesses and imperfections and how I feel like I don`t really know what I am doing here. But then I just have to take a deep breath and realize that the world wasn`t created in a day. Life is a process and it makes no sense to freak out about every single little thing. So. I have to consciously decide every morning to just do the best I can. That`s all the Lord requires of us. Maybe I don`t have a thousand scripture references memorized and maybe I forget to update the area book every night, but I`m learning amazing things about myself and about life, and I am doing the best I can. So. Neener. 

Anyone who ever said that the mission is some fairytale is the biggest liar on the planet. It`s HARD sometimes! Sometimes you serve in wards where no one does their calling and they all complain about each other and gossip. And sometimes you are with a companion that you want to strangle. And other times it seems like every single person you meet doesn`t want to listen to you. 

But the truth of the matter is there are always miracles. Always. And there are definitely always things to laugh about. 

For instance...

Our zone leaders decided it would be a good idea to go sing hymns in the central park in Machala to invite people to stake conference. Except it turned out really lame and awkward because there were 4 of us singing and no one could even hear us. It was so off-key and everyone just walked by and looked at us like we were crazy. I wanted to crawl in a hole. 

One of the lady`s in our ward fed us this last week. I learned a good secret to make the coke serve more people...add water. ha. 

We visited an inactive lady in our ward this week to share a message with her and invite her to come to stake conference. She used to be super active in the ward...primary president and everything. But she got offended about one thing or another and said she would never step foot in the church again. It`s so sad to me when that happens. Sometimes we let other people inhibit our progression and let their actions determine our destiny. Anyway, she told us she still keeps all the commantments and studies the bible practically non-stop. Her ideas on worshipping and serving the Lord are way whacky. I got really frustrated with her and reminded her that one of the commandments is to keep the Sabbath Day holy. Sometimes I forget to respond tactfully and lovingly. My companion looked at me like I was crazy and we made a quick exit. 

A few days later we went to visit her again and opened singing a hymn. She immediately chimed in and insisted that we sang #41, How Great Thou Art. Awesome. So we start in singing and suddenly I look up and she has her eyes closed and is swaying to the music, singing in this opera voice. I thought I must have been on Candid Camera or something. My companion lost it and had to quit singing in an attempt to stiffle her laughter. Of course her laughing made me laugh, and it ended up in this horribly irreverant rendition of the hymn. I thought for sure this lady would chase us out of her house and never talk to us again. 

After that incident every single time we sang a hymn in our other appointments that day my companion and I bursted into laughter just thinking about our dear inactive friend and her opera voice. 

I am obsessed with this family we are teaching. They are adorable. Their situation is rough. The mom is a single mother of 6 kids between ages 3 and 13. They live in a way sketchy part of town and their kids are subject to so many hardships every day. But literally the best part of my day is when we go walking down the dirt road toward their house and the little kids literally come running down the street to give me the world`s biggest hug and tell us how they were just barely reading their Book of Mormon. The other day we walked up to the window where they were sitting in the front room without them noticing...and we found the 9 year old playing school with her little sisters. Guess what she was teaching them. The Word of Wisdom. Ha. Love them.

On May 20th the world was supposed to end, according to many people we met. But we are all still here. I was kind of hoping it would just end already because then I could eat all the hamburgers in the world and never get fat. 

A girl in our ward took us to meet and teach her friend, Magali. We showed up at her door and her hair was sticking out everywhere and she was applying this weird cream to make it shiny or something. She spent the entire lesson coming her hair and staring at herself in the mirror. I was convinced that she didn`t hear a word we said. But at the end of the lesson she gave a perfect overview of everything we taught and said she wants to get baptized. So our next challenge is helping her and her husband get married. 

Living together is not just a fad in the United States. There are TONS of people here who just live together and have a bunch of kids. People here are just as afraid of commitment as they are in the states. Especially in the sector where I am working now in Machala it is very humble. They don`t put a high value on marriage and family life. It just sort of happens. So it`s super rewarding to see how the gospel helps people understand the importance of families and be able to improve their families as they commit themselves to serving the Lord.

We had lunch at the bishop`s house on Saturday, but the night before they had a crazy party for their daughter`s 15th birthday. When we arrived they were putting the house back together and forgot about us. So they served us a little slice of cake and a small plate of corn. I realized how dependant my body is becoming on rice. If I don`t eat a mountain of it every day I feel like I am starving to death. Great.

And this week I am obsessed with this quote about prayer:

"God is with this people. But we are required to hearken to His voice,
obey His commandments, and humble ourselves before Him. God is our friend, our lawgiver, our deliverer. If the Lord
cannot sustain His work, we certainly cannot. But He can. He has always
done it, and will do it to the end. Therefore I say to the Saints, fear
not. Trust in God. Let not your hearts be faint. Let your prayers ascend to
the ears of the Lord of Sabaoth day and night. Ask what you want. When you
do that, the Lord will answer your prayers, if you ask what is right. There
is where our strength lies. It is in God."
( Wilford Woodruff, in Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Wilford Woodruff [2004], 106)

This week should be pretty freaking fantastic. Elder Scott is coming to our mission for a conference! We`re all traveling to Guayaquil on Wednesday to listen to him speak. I am way stoked. He came to the MTC while I was there and gave an amazing talk on following the spirit, so he`ll for sure have some way awesome things to say. 

Welp. I hope you all have the best week of your lives, even if you fail a test or burn your toast. Never forget that God lives. His church is true and leads us to complete happiness in this life and the next. Never be afraid to share the goodness of the gospel with others.

Love you all more than crepes and 

Special shout out to...

Lesa Lou...HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! (Check it out. I didn`t even forget!) I hope your birthday is full of tiny cuppycakes and a mountain of cheese.

Dana G and Mckell Mary. HEY GIRLS HEY! 

Fance. Neener. Spongey. Pineapple delights. Suuuuure.

Alisha and Jason. Congrats on your new baby boy! I want to see pictures!

I know I am forgetting a lot of people. Get over it.

I am obsessed with all of you.