Choosing

Sometimes as a missionary there are times that are mega highs. Everything is so incredible and you want to baptize everyone and you get along great with your companion and everything is a dream (for the most part, at least). And then there are other times that are what I like to term as growing experiences. It is full of trials in every way you can imagine. It´s hard and sometimes you want to scream. And then there are other times that are a bizarre combination of the two extremes. You can´t decide if youre happy or angry or frustrated or excited or anything. I suppose most of the mission is like that, but sometimes it´s just more obvious than others. And it´s like that in life sometimes too. I think I am at one of those in-between stages. I sway between being so excited about everything I can hardly stand it, and being so frustrated with myself and with what is happening around me that I want to crawl in a hole and hide for a while.

 

Anyway, I don´t know what I am even rambling on about.

 

So. This week was good, mostly. We were supposed to have 3 baptisms, but only one went through. Baptisms are funny like that. You don´t really know what will happen until the person is in the water. And then the next day you have the whole challenge of getting them to sacrament meeting. So things fell through with 2 baptisms. But the other went through without fail. And it was one of the best baptisms I have ever had in my life.

 

I will start with the bad news. We have been teaching this girl named Maricela. She is a single mother with a crazy 2 year old who runs around and screams all day. Without stopping. Except he has the sweetest, most innocent eyes that you can´t help but adore him. Anyway, Maricela was supposed to get baptized on Saturday. All week long she wasn´t really sure if she was ready to get baptized or not. She kept saying "well...we´ll see. I´ll tell you tomorrow." And tomorrow never came. She was afraid to make the decision, so it ended up that she didn´t get baptized.

 

I thought a lot about decisions this week. I thoguht about how we ultimately decide what we want to be. We can choose to be a doctor or a garbage man or a hippie juggling on the corner. It´s our choice. We can choose who we want to marry, what kind of house we´ll live in, and what we eat for breakfast. We can choose to be happy or angry or tranquil or hyperactive. It´s our choice. And ultimately in all of these choices, we can choose to follow Christ or not. There isn´t another option. There isn´t the option to not choice either way. You either follow the Savior or you follow Satan. There isn´t the option to just float around. By not choosing and by not actively following Christ, we fall into just following the enemy.

 

I think so often in life we want to just sit back and not have to choose. We don´t want to follow Satan because, well, it´s sort of a no-brainer. Satan = eternal misery. Christ = eternal bliss. Duh. But then again, we don´t want to commit ourselves to following the Savior because sometimes it seems hard. The Savior´s way is sometimes hard from a short-term perspective because it pushes us and refines us into what we need to be. We have to choose to leave behind old habits and other things that don´t lead us to eternal life. I think sometimes we avoid making the choice to follow the Savior because we don´t have faith in ourselves. We don´t have the confidence that we will be able to stay firm and unmoveable in the Savior´s path. We don´t believe that we will be able to resist temptation or make good choices down the line.

 

Perhaps we have plenty of faith in the Lord, but we don´t believe in ourselves. So we sell ourselves short. We don´t make the choice to follow the Savior out of fear (or maybe laziness sometimes), so by default we are on Satan´s downward spiral to misery. As a missionary it is really frustrating to see people choose to go into that default mode. It´s hard to watch people use their agency to willingly choose to deny Christ´s way. It was hard to sit there with Maricela on the day of her baptism and have her tell us that she knows that she should get baptized or else she cannot receive eternal life, but to then turn around and tell us that she doesn´t want it. So this week we´re going to try to help her get baptized this Saturday. She just needs to get over the fear in herself and her complacency with where she´s at in life. Pray for her.

 

Mikey, the grandson of a member in our ward, finally got baptized after waiting for months for permission from his mom. He was stoked for his baptism all week. His grandpa baptized him, and I was legitimately concerned that this old man was going to break several bones trying to lower Mikey into the water. He is this old wrinkly frail man, and to add to that the water was low, so he had to bend all the way over to submerge Mikey. And he had to do it twice. I am happy to report that he lived to tell the tale and isn´t any worse for the wear. Also Mikey´s grandma sang I Stand All Amazed and it was the cutest thing you could ever imagine. It was the song they sang at her baptism 12 years ago.

 

It was so beautiful to see the entire family sitting on the front row, with Mikey and the grandpa dressed in white. He is the 3rd grandchild to get baptized. His older sister and 18 year old cousin got baptized a month ago, and are incredible examples of faith. Diana and Katherine shared their testimonies, and it is incredibly powerful to hear the conversion that they experienced in such a short time. They listened to the missionaries for 2 weeks and were baptized and only have a month as members, yet they have the most powerful testimonies of prayer and of the reality that God lives and loves them. They left behind a world of parties and worldliness and now love the gospel and face trials of life with incredible wisdom and a firm testimony. I wish you all could just meet them.

 

After the baptism the bishop of our ward here in Acacias came up to us and gave us the sweetest, most heartfelt thank you I have ever heard. He thanked us for our sacrifices to come here and serve the Lord. I´m pretty sure he sacrifices WAY more than we ever do, but he went on and on about how grateful he is that we are willing to come to Ecuador and preach the gospel and help people find the truth. The missionaries that baptized him years and years ago should be very proud. He and his family are some of the strongest members I have met in Ecuador. Anyway, he made us promise to write home today and tell our families thank you from him for sending us here and for letting us leave home for a year and a half to serve a mission. His 2 oldest sons have served missions and he said he knows how hard it is for a parent to let their kid go, so he wanted to thank you mumzie and dad for sending me. He said to tell you I am doing a good job. Ha.

 

What else. Ah yes. A list.

 

As a missionary we meet all sorts of interesting people. I love being able to talk to people about things that really matter to them...their fears, their interests, their desires, etc. And so my list today is dedicated to all the interesting characters in our sector...people that make me laugh, people I look forward to seeing every day, and sometimes people we avoid.

1. The tranny who wanders the streets near our home. He/she wears skimpy cloths and has long hard. Perhaps from a distance you´d mistake him for a woman. But once he gets closer it is impossible to hide his 5:00 shadow.

2. The evangelical lady who is always standing in her window. She looked like she was just waiting for the gospel, so I contacted her. Apparently every other missionary who has passed through thought the same thing, but just for the record...she´s still not interested.

3. The group of old ladies who sit in plastic lawn chairs outside their homes in house dresses and lap blankets talking and gossiping for hours.

4. The recent convert, Kevin, who always looks for us through the streets and greets us with the hugest smile and starts waving when he sees us 5 blocks away.

5. The lady with glasses at the paper store across from the high school who always asks us how we´re doing.

6. The guy who has one leg, wears sunglasses at night, and everytime we pass him he waves his crutch and says "hey girls" in a voice quite similar to Marge Simpson.

7. Diana, the girl from the Galapagos who got baptized a month ago. She is the most graceful, composed person I have ever met and invited me to visit her in the islands so I can go see all the turtles.

8. The lady at the corner store who knows us personally and always knows that I am going to buy a banana. I can´t help it. They´re cheap.

 

Isn´t it weird that I live here? I had a weird moment of realization of this today. I live here. I have friends here. I wander around and know where I´m going and know what people talk about and I ask them about their lives. It´s so weird. But I love it. I love being in a position to get to know people on such a deep level and learn from them. My life is becoming infinitely richer through the people I´ve met, whether they be strangers or friends or investigators or members. I just wish people were like Shrinky Dinks so I could make them all miniature and take them with me everywhere I go.

 

Anyway. I am done blabbering now.

 

Lesa. I better here some news from you next week.

Sam and Sarah. I can´t believe you´re having a boy! Here is my recommendation for a boy: Bruno. They love that name here.

Nance. I haven´t heard anything about the fire in New Mexico...are you alive still?

Breck. Be good in St. Thomas.

Mom. I watched your segment on Studio 5 that you sent me. You´re famous. Also you looked very dainty in your shoes. For some reason I keep forgetting it´s summer there. I feel like it should still be winter.

Dad. Stay groovy.

Ab. You´re almost starting high school. That is freaking me out.

Mal. Ha. I have no words.

 

Everyone else...Christ lives. He is the ONLY way. Choose Him and you choose eternal life.

 

Love you all more than shrinky dinks and easy bake ovens.

Have the best week of your lives.