It Goes On‏

One week complete in Guayaquil. 

I had a lot of requests to explain the sudden/random change. So here´s the deal. One of the hermanas that was serving here went home early (she got sick...i think both literally and mentally...so she decided it was best to go home) and there was a need to put another hermana here in the Almendros ward because Hermana Morán (my new companion) is going home at the end of this change, so someone needed to come learn the sector so the work could go on when she goes home. So I got picked. I was super nervous that I got sent out of Cuenca because I sucked it up as a trainer, and I still don´t know if that is or isn´t true, but either way I am here and I am slowly getting into the groove of things.

The first part of the week was rough. I felt so out of place and confused. Being on the coast is like an entirely different world because the culture is so different. The accent is different. The weather is different. Everything. I spent a lot of time feeling sort of paralyzed and was anything but myself. And then I realized what my problem was. Fear. Fear of lots of things. I was afraid of losing my Cuencan accent (the accent here makes me want to claw my ears off sometimes). I was afraid of making a fool of myself because my companion is absolutely amazing and I felt so small and inadequate in comparison. I was afraid to open up to people here and be myself. 

Fear is an interesting thing because it kind of all falls back on insecurity and not wanting other people to think negatively about me. It because paralyzing and inhibits progression. It drives away the spirit and makes life miserable. So I spent the other half of the week trying to focus all my energy on the good things. The times when we go into a house with air conditioning. The way rad members here in this ward. The fact that they aren´t feeding me 10,000 pounds of food like I thought they would. The lessons we´re teaching. I looked for simple things every day to try pulling myself out of a rut of frustration and not wanting to change. I´m still not all the way there yet, but little by little I am coming to love my new sector and everything here.

As for Guayaquil...it is...hot. And sticky. And sweaty. I drink approximately 12 gallons of water every 5 minutes and putting on my clothes after taking a shower is comparable to trying to put on a wet swimming suit. Not my idea of a good time. But the good news is that it doesn´t even matter that we have no hot water because the cold shower is quite refreshing. 

My companion. Hermana Morán. She is one of the most christ-like people I have ever met. She is instantly friends with every single person we meet on the streets and she talks to EVERYONE. She never misses and opportunity to share her testimony and she is fearless when it comes to expressing herself. She is an absolute sweetheart. We have a good time together. The best moment of the week was in conference when this guy behind us asked to borrow her scriptures. We thought he was just going to look up a scripture or something, but when we got home she found a note from him stuck in the pages. Turns out it was some guy from Colombia who wants to date her when she goes home in 2 weeks. Ha. It was like we were in middle school again or something. I am still trying to figure out why he thought it was appropriate to ask out a missionary...whatever. We got a good laugh out of it. 

Conference. It was my first conference 100% in another language. I was super thankful that I actually understood it all. My favorite talk was by Elder Oaks. He talked about the importance of having righteous desires because what we want is what we will ultimately get. It made me think a lot about what I want out of life. What do I want out of this mission? Out of my relationships? What do I want in the future? What do I want right now? I sadly don´t have a lot of answers yet, but it really made me think about the importance of having an idea of what direction I want my life to have. The things we desire most will be realized because our sincere desires will determine how we act. As we choose to want heavenly things, we will work diligently to overcome temptations and work towards our goals. I loved how Elder Oaks said desires lead to priorities, which impact our decisions, which lead to actions, and ultimately we will receive the consequences of those actions. It all starts with a little desire and the power of thought.

I feel like none of what I am saying is making any sense whatsoever. Sorry.

Ummm...other news. Last night we got caught in a mega rain storm. Lightning and thunder absolutely filled the sky and the streets turned into gushing rivers. It was incredible. 

I hope you all have the most delightful weeks of your lives, full of april showers and signs of spring. Love you all!