Panic

Listen. I'm leaving in 24 days. In 24 days I will be embarking on the wildest adventure of my life: spreading the gospel in Ecuador. My anxiety levels are through the roof and I sort of can't get a full breath of air. Thinking about everything I have to do before I leave is freaking me out. (So I sit here on the computer and blog instead...?)

And then I think about everything I will have to do for 18 months and get even more freaked out. Knocking on doors and bugging people on the bus when all they want to do is take a little nap. Walking miles and miles every day in pantyhose. Not jumping into that ocean surrounding the Galapagos Islands to swim with sea turtles. Leaving friends and family and people I love - contacting them only through letters and email. Going everywhere and doing everything with a companion who I could potentially not be particularly fond of.

Remind me why I'm doing this whole mission thing again? Oh, right, because it's true! The gospel is true and I want people to obtain the pure, raw, authentic happiness that truth offers. I have to remind myself of that at least every hour. I had no clue this journey leading up to serving a mission would be so hard.

So I will get my wisdom teeth removed, set up my missionary bank account, download hundreds of church songs to my ipod, renew my driver's license, cut my hair, clean out my car, put everything I own in storage, and do a thousand other things in the next 24 days. I'll do it all for truth and light and goodness...and the incredible opportunity I have to serve the Lord and deliver this message of truth to the people of Ecuador (if I ever learn to speak Spanish).